One of the things that stood out to me the most was the source of Paul’s boldness. Since he is hard-pressed in both directions, to live and die (to be with Christ), he is in a win-win situation. Paul’s desire for death serves as one of the main driving forces of his boldness for Christ, I think I can learn something from that.
I like thinking about random scenarios, there are days where I would check myself and ask the question: “If a gunman were to enter into the church right now, and promise to shoot the ones who proclaim Christ Jesus, would I jump to the gun?” Most days it’s yes, not always. In thinking about the physical death, I think I’m mostly fine with dying, while Paul desires to die. Maybe it’s because I have yet to grasp completely the fact that my life is not my own, unlike Paul, who says “I do not know which to choose.” I’m more along the lines of “I would like to live, but I mean… if you want me to die, I suppose.”
Paul knows that since he isn’t the one to choose and he is simply supposed to do what he was meant to do: if he is to live, then to live like Christ, if he is to die, then all the better. Maybe that’s why he’s not afraid of messing up this earthly flesh for the glory of God.
“My Hero” by Planetshakers
The chorus goes “My life is not my own, Lord Jesus take control, I give you everything, you are the reason I stand”